By Arleen Macpherson
Republished in March 2018
Editors Note: This article, written by Arleen Macpherson, first appeared in the September 1999 Good Work News as a reflection on her 11 years as coordinator of St. John’s Kitchen. In 2002, Arleen joined The Working Centre Board of Directors. This year she retired from the Board after serving the last five years as President.
Thank you to the thousands of people whom I have encountered over the last eleven years at St. John’s Kitchen. My work here has enabled me to meet, to socialize with and to work with more people than I ever could have imagined. A wonderful variety of gifts, talents, personalities, experiences, and treasures has enriched my life beyond measure. I will carry some part of each one in my heart and in my very bones for the rest of my days, for all have become part of me.
Eleven years ago, I entered St. John’s Kitchen, in fear and trepidation, for my first day of work. There were many questions on my mind and a great deal of nervousness. Here I was in a room crowded with strangers and I had to get to know them all. I was equipped with only a great deal of enthusiasm and many neat, tidy and, ultimately, silly ideas of how things should be organized. But the people became my teachers. I learned over and over again that people, all of us, wherever we are and whatever our socio-economic status, more than anything else, want to be treated with respect and dignity; and that we flourish and blossom when we give and receive love and understanding. I also learned that there is an enormous amount of fun to be had when several people work together to prepare, cook and serve a meal to a large group of fellow human beings. It is not true, as they say, that “too many cooks spoil the broth”! Conversely, they enrich it! And what about the cleaning up afterwards? It is true, as they say, that “many hands make light work.” It is so gratifying at the end of the day to see numerous people pitch in to do the many and assorted tasks needed to leave everything in readiness for yet another day. I shall miss all of this activity, and especially each of these remarkable and generous-hearted individuals as I retire from this work and start yet another life. As I reflect on these past eleven years, I find meaning and expression in Jean Vanier’s newest book, Becoming Human, House of Anansi Press, 1998.
Becoming Human
In 1964 Jean Vanier founded L’Arche, an international network of communities for people with intellectual disabilities. In his book, he shares from his significant experience, a “profoundly human vision for creating a common good that radically changes our communities, our relationships, and ourselves.” It was a privilege for me when l recently met and listened to this humble man whose chosen work has not only had such a significant impact all over the world, but whose own heart is so visibly filled with peace and joyfulness as a result. Jean Vanier tells us that:
“Society is the place where we learn to develop our potential and become competent; where we work and receive a salary that allows us to live financially independently. It is the place where each can accomplish his or her mission, to work for justice, to struggle for peace and to serve others.
“Belonging, on the other hand, is the place where we can find a certain emotional security. It is a place where we learn a lot about ourselves, our fears, our blockages, and our violence, as well as our capacity to give life; it is the place where we grow to appreciate others, to live with them, to share and work together, discovering each one’s gifts and weaknesses. We receive and give the knocks of life. It is like the polishing of diamonds as they rub together.” (pp. 57-58)
It seems quite natural and logical, in a discussion of St. John’s Kitchen, to associate with these two concepts of society and belonging. Most people who come to St. John’s Kitchen do so because they are unable to meet the requirements and expectations of society, as we know it. Because they are either unable to work or unable to find steady, paid employment, they are not considered to be successful in a society that measures success in terms of salaries, possessions, social status and power. And so they are marginalized. They live at the fringes of society. As Vanier says:
“Those who are weak have great difficulty finding their place in society. The image of the ideal human as powerful and capable disenfranchises the old, the sick, the less-abled. For me, society must, by definition, be inclusive of the needs and gifts of all its members… I also believe that those we most often exclude from the normal life of society have profound lessons to teach us. When we do include them, they add richly to our lives and add immensely to our world.”(p. 45)
Polishing Diamonds
Often I have asked people who come to St. John’s Kitchen, ‘’What brought you here?” Their replies vary from “I wanted to learn about another way of life” to “I am depressed and I thought it might help to be doing something” and” Nobody else wanted me.” Within a short time of being involved and of “giving and receiving the knocks of life,” they felt a sense of belonging, discovered heretofore unknown skills, overcame depression and in some cases were able to find a job.
It is difficult to overcome a life of early and violent abuse, homelessness, alcoholism and imprisonment. But “Jim” has succeeded and is now a very obviously devoted family man living in a stable home.
It would be hard to measure the contribution to this point of “John” who has become the custodial parent of his school-aged son who was struggling with an inability to learn and serious behaviour problems developed during a short lifetime of verbal abuse in a dysfunctional home. “John”, whose own early life was chaotic, completed his schooling, studied parenting skills and childhood development, entered a job and set up a home for his son. Three years later, John’s son, who is very bright, is thriving in school, is able to relate in a healthy way to others and is a cheerful, friendly growing boy.
“Hector” came into the kitchen recently to say hello and thanks. He frequented St. John’s Kitchen during a period of unemployment about six years ago. Since that time he has been steadily employed in another city and dropped in while on vacation. He has never forgotten us and wanted to make sure that we would continue to remember him. These folks and many, many others are the diamonds who have put sparkle into my world – a world, like Jean Vanier’s, of “celebration, presence and laughter”.
Thanksgiving
St. John’s Kitchen is, in many ways, a very open community. Anyone with an interest or curiosity is welcome to come in any day. Many visitors have come and stayed for lunch. They are warmed and surprised by the openness, hospitality and good cheer of the people. We appreciate their interest.
Volunteers, like our supporters, are the life-blood of St. John’s Kitchen. Without their daily help of preparing, cooking and serving foods, cleaning and maintaining the premise
s, planting, weeding and harvesting our garden, picking up and delivering our goods and looking after our laundry, St. John’s could not exist. Some have been here since the beginning days. Others come and go. They come in all ages and from all walks of life and they too participate in the giving and receiving and even in the knocks of life. They truly are diamonds!
Food is an important part of life at St. John’s Kitchen. It is around food that we gather to nourish and sustain our bodies. And it is around food that we gather to recognize our common humanity and to establish a sense of belonging. So we thank the Food Bank, the local farmers and gardeners, the churches and the individuals who fill our table so abundantly.
And to my many friends at St. John’s Kitchen who contribute so much to the meaning of life, a deep and heartfelt thank you for enabling me in my quest to become fully human. You have brought joy and gratitude to my heart and you have given me beautiful memories!
