by Arleen Macpherson
Published in March 1998
Have you heard about the Multilateral Agreement on Investment, MAI for short? This is a treaty which if ratified, will expand the investment and business privileges of corporations throughout the world while drastically reducing the rights of Canadian and other governments to impose any control over the practices of these businesses. The popular media gives us little to no information about it, but the implications are frightening. It will affect all of our lives but will be devastating to the growing number of poor people. And, closer to home, Bill 42, “The Welfare Bill” will soon be passed in the Ontario Legislature. Subsistence level incomes will be lowered even further. Some low incomes are being wiped out entirely. The proposed shelter allowance will come nowhere near the cost of shelter. What does one say to a middle-aged single woman who wanders into St. John’s Kitchen in the middle of the month and tells you that she has no money and no place to sleep that night?
These are very tough issues. The last one, of course requires an immediate response and sometimes that response can be very inadequate and provide merely a temporary solution. It is an indication of the larger issues though.
While it is very important to be supporting the growing groups of people both locally and across the country who are mobilizing to confront these devastating decisions, it seems important also to take note of the small signs of hope and individual stories of encouragement wherever we can.
Abundance
A first ever Boxing Day Supper was provided at First United Church for all those who were alone or without a meal on this day. The word ABUNDANT best describes this event. There was an abundance of food, there was an abundance of volunteer church members, there was entertainment, and after the initial shy feelings, there was an abundance of fellowship, goodwill, friendliness, and cheer. Two groups of people who, under normal circumstances, would never meet each other, spent a merry day together. Two sets of needs were filled; the need to reach outside of oneself and give, and the need for food and warmth. Both groups fed each other. No one can say what difference was made that day at the personal level of individual lives, but we do know that a desire to repeat the experience has been expressed. It will take shape next month when volunteers from the church will cook and serve a meal at St. John’s Kitchen. This time, there will happily be some recognition of familiar faces among people. As more such encounters take place, the comfort level and the degree of understanding between people rises. Possibilities for new life opens up.
Family Ties
Oh how warm, comfortable, and intimate is life at St. John’s Kitchen some days. Recently we talked to a middle-aged friend who met with her thirty year-old daughter and two grandchildren for the first time since she was forced to give up her daughter at birth. We sat and talked through shocked, confused, and mixed feelings. It appears that everything will turn out fine. The daughter is a patient, gentle, understanding, and beautiful young woman. Our friend has come to terms over the years with many aching realities in her life and has a shining spirit. They seemed proud of each other and willing to pursue a relationship without upsetting each other’s lives.
We talked also to a senior woman who, along with a sister, had been given up for adoption at the age of two. She has reconnected with her sister once or twice over these many years but now begins to wonder if there were other family members. She also wonders about the circumstances which forced her mother to give up her children. She has led a strong, independent, and responsible life and keeps busy and involved even now. But she is getting increasingly curious about her heritage. She begins to piece together a few of the fragments of her past and may decide to pursue it further.
We are privileged to be listeners to her reminiscences and musings. Her curiosity and lively interest in her past as well as her gentleness and willingness to embrace it are truly admirable.
A recent sad occasion became an opportunity to strengthen ties between some of the people at St. John’s Kitchen. The very sudden death of a middle-aged man left his wife with many concerns about the funeral arrangements. They were a friendly couple who came to St. John’s often and had befriended volunteers and staff. Gretchen, Don, and Eleanor offered to make sandwiches on the Saturday of the funeral and to deliver them to the widow’s home for a reception following the funeral. Another person provided cheese and crackers. Numerous people attended the wake and the funeral. The widow has returned to St. John’s Kitchen and expressed thanks for the support which she received at that very difficult time.
Olympic Gold
If courage and determination and succeeding against all odds were rewarded with gold medals, “Judy” would have one for each of the last eight years of her life. When we first met she was a Kitchener street kid whose future looked dismal. Today, eight years later, she is in her graduating year at University. And she did it alone. No family or team support. The obstacles which she overcame and the hurdles which she conquered make her a true champion in life. It was heart-warming and exhilarating to meet her again recently and to hear her story. We commiserated with her and laughed with her about the absurdity of the system that punishes with debt a person who is so obviously trying to become a productive citizen. We rejoiced with her in her many successes and we hoped with her for a fulfilling future upon graduation.
Conversations With a Friend
And finally, spring seems a little closer, in the middle of this rather bleak February weather, when I recall these two whimsical stories told to me by one of our most unique street friends.
“Every now and again I need to get away from it all. I gather enough money for a return bus trip that will take me a short distance north of the city. I take only bare essentials with me, disembark from the bus in the middle of nowhere, go off the road and enter the woods where I know I will come across a stream. I camp there with only the natural shelter of the trees, fish, cook out in the open, sleep under the stars, and wake up when my body has had enough rest. I have already learned the bus schedule so when I’m ready to return to the city, I walk back out to the road, and flag down the bus.”
This next story is a playful one. “I had arranged to meet a friend and when he didn’t show up at the appointed time, I decided to sit and wait under a nearby tree. I spotted a huge dead bumble bee in the grass nearby, picked it up and held it in the palm of my hand to examine it more closely. At that moment I recalled that old cliché; “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder”. It then occurred to me that, in that moment, I was, ironically, the bee-holder. I looked up and around me and saw at that instant, what surrounded me was truly a beautiful vision. Everything was truly beautiful. At another time, in a different frame of mind, that same setting might not have looked beautiful at all. But I had a moment of deep connection with natu
re because of an old cliché.”
Keeping Things in Perspective
Stories abound at St. John’s Kitchen. Some occur instantaneously, others unravel over time. It would be easy to decide that a “soup kitchen” is a poor, dreary place where the same routine is repeated day in and day out. It would be easy to decide that the hardships faced by people each day would be very depressing. Not so. The connections that are made between people both within and outside of St. John’s and the ties that are woven each day between people create a very rich and nourishing fabric of life. Small daily events don’t eliminate the larger problems but they do outshine them.
